I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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