It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
