fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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