Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
