I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
