I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize