we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
