STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
