thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
