my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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