erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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