I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
