It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
