my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize