Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
