Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
