I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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