32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
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