I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
