I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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