Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
