You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Boobs speak an international language.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize