He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
