what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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