Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
