Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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