happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
