I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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