Nicole vs. Life
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
