I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
