At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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