I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
