Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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