Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize