woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Still dying that you shit outside
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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