have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
