I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
