If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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