Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
