I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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