best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
