that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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