she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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