the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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