I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
