More tranny stories later!
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
