We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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