I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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