Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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