I wish my penis had an off switch
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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