Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
