She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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