Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
