dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
