he puts the penis in happiness.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
