at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
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