Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
