i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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