Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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