Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
