guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
