Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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