So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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