For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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