I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
