She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
