people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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