3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
