Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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