Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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