If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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