At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
