Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
